dehumanized- July 09 in Gaza

 Gaza is hot- the air wafts around me and i breath in the last impressions of its streets.
A fast check out at the palestinian check-point, bearded men hanging out, back into the taxi and the last palestinian outpost pops up in the vast no-man´s land- that once was alive but now is spangled with ruins and debris, corrosion-overgrown and ripped of again and again.
ghost houses like a garbled carcass of the no man´s land that rots, deprived of its right to be alive and it is symbol for the devastation the israeli army left behind in Gaza ´s land and in it´s peoples souls.
The palestinian outpost is alive as Gaza is- full of goodness, gentleness -a last tea offered by Abdallah, that run´s a little shop there, a last fight between the workers about who is gonna carry our luagge.
A last check with the other side- are we really expected there? A last goodbye for our friend and brother Yehia who we have to leave behind alone- and a last kiss for the ground of Gaza and the I walk, against the sun towards a wall.
It is a walk of conscioussness and realisation, of comprehension and enlightment and tears are running over my face and falling into the sand, leaving a trace of understanding and sharing.
With every step Gaza gets smaller and smaller and the wall becomes higher and higher.
Besides me are walking my collueges Lukas, Kristina and Yoko- in silence each one of us confronted with his own emotions and memories, each one of us goes step by step away from the Gaza and it´s people.
I arrive in the tunnel and i feel so small in between the huge walls and my heart starts hurting me.
Who went into Gaza and ravaged there is from human nature and you that you are a part of this I will be in your hands now.
Breath out, breath out, I´ll be stone if I have to.
A palestinian worker is the first to open our bags in front of the big black eye-the no face eye.
Go through the fence, enter the cold terminal- the place that is allready called: the end.
airconditioned cold-grey walls and cabinets-and electric bell that activates the no face voice.
All my belongings are taken away for security checks, just me and my identity giving passport are waiting in front of a door.
A no face voice askes me and my identity to enter the next cabin together with Kristina and the palestinian mother Reem and her baby Ruba.
A round 3-D X-Ray mashine out of glass is waiting for us- a no face voice gives Reem the order to enter the object and she turns around and hands me over her baby Ruba- two doors are closing behind her and Ruba starts crying. Just 10 secinds later the doors open again and Ruba goes back into her mum´s arms.
I step in to the mashine and place my feed spread on the yellow signs on the ground--the no face voice tells me to put my hands up.
some seconds later its over and no face voice tells me to go into cabin 4. I wait there-until Kristina follows.
I am cattle in a cabin- you dehumanized me. and I can see you now from far away- no face voices are sitting on the other side of the hall, 10 meters over the ground-observing me from behind glass walls.
You are a part of all this-
It doesnt matter that you have to go through my underwear for your security- but it matters if 70 years old Manfred has to stand nacked in front of you.
It doesnt matter if the secret service has to check my passport again- but it matters how proffesional you do your job.
It doesnt matter to me if you asked me what I did in Gaza- I wanna tell you about it- but listen to me and dont have private phone talks in between, playing around with my Passport in your hand.
As much as you were no face voices before- as much you have now the ugly faces of the occupier, the superiour, of the Apartheit.
you are one that has to hide his face- because everyone would see your fear that covers your knowledge about your missdoing.